I think I'm going to try closing off from people now.
I just used Spotify for the first time in yonks (I don't think I ever even properly used it in the first place - just imported a bunch of my old iTunes playlists ages ago and then left it at that) and on the Find Friends bit, where it pulls your Facebook contacts, I became uncharacteristically selective. Rather than add everybody/most people, I just added a handful and actually skipped over a lot that I would normally add. This wasn't done in a way against them, as in it's not that I don't like them or anything. Rather, if I found myself thinking "That person seems nice...maybe they'll see what I'm listening to [which is mostly a lot of sad stuff right now] and reach out...", I decided not to add them (that's not to say those I did add don't seem nice; there were other factors to consider, of course). Because I keep finding myself misplacing my hope and faith. And the evidence seems to be stacking more and more in favour of the notion that "Nobody cares what you think or feel, Ridwan.", so maybe it's time I should stop trying to find something else to be the case.
As a Muslim, I do believe in a Creator-being, Allah, and that all my faith should be placed in Allah and Allah alone. That is my relatively objective stance on the matter (I get "objectivity" and "faith" seem mutually exclusive for a lot of people, but that's for another discussion). My subjective stance on the matter though, is that surely there's somebody out there who's like me that I can talk to and vice versa, or at least somebody who can relate to what I'm going through and can be there for me in the way I am [hopefully] for others? But I know that's not guaranteed. And to be frank, my experience of humanity seems to be, overall, full of disappointment. I don't say the following as some point of philosophical debate or proof or anything:
People often say "Why do you have faith in a God when you have no proof?", whereas I'm thinking "Why do I have faith in humanity when I have so much proof not to?".